Sunday, April 26, 2009

Dirty Or Clean


DIRTY OR CLEAN


Sometimes we just need to be reminded.



A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.


In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?”


He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless... But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who truly LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes.not in what we do or who we know,.but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special! Don't EVER forget it.

How many problems do you have? How many blessings?

And remember: amateurs built the ark ... professionals built the Titanic.

IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT


Saturday, April 25, 2009

Negative Calorie Foods....Hmmm? Maybe...

Maybe I will try this...but what about meat???

Eat "Negative Calorie Foods".

"Negative Calorie Foods" are those kinds of food that uses up more energy than the calories they provide so, the net effect is negative(less than zero) calories added to the body. So, you can eat more and still lose weight.

Examples of these kinds of food are: asparagus, beet, broccoli, green cabbage, carrot, cauliflower, celery, chili pepper, cucumber, dandelion, endive, garlic, green beans, zucchini, onion, radishes; and for fruits: apple, cranberries, grapefruit, lemon, mango, orange, pineapple, raspberries, strawberries, tangerine, papaya.

These foods are also called fat-burners. They metabolize the calories from even the other foods you eat.

More info from source: http://loseweightsite.net

Friday, April 24, 2009

I Am A Famous Photographer lol


My photos are famous! lol I took this picture in a moving car in 2004 with like a 3mp camera the last time I was in St Pete. I was contacted by this lady that they wanted to use my photo...This has always been my favorite picture from that trip. I LOVE this house!!! =)






Schmap Tampa Seventh Edition: Photo Inclusion

Hi tarey76,I am delighted to let you know that your submitted photo has been selected for inclusion in the newly released seventh edition of our
Schmap Tampa Guide:St. Petersburg
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Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Vision 02/07/07

I was saved 2/07/2007, all of this was written a day or so after. My ex Evan is mentioned, but we are no longer together. I couldn't cut him out of the story because he was such a big part of it. I will never forget this day as long as I live.


"Now the visions of my head upon my bed I happened to be beholding and, look! a tree in the midst of the earth, the height of which was immense. The tree grew up and became strong and its very height finally reached the heavens, and it was visible to the extremity of the whole earth."Daniel 4:10-11


*The best thing in the world happened today. I way laying in bed, as I have been doing lately because I have been so sick, lazy and depressed lately that is all I have been doing. Evan came into the room and took one look at me and knew something was wrong. He knows me so well. It was going on 5 pm and I was still in bed.....on and off of the laptop...but still in bed. He had been up all day, I just didn't want to get up. I have been depressed over me being so sick, the pain in my arm, leg, the weather, etc. Just anything I could think of to beat myself up over. He asked me what was wrong and I just bursted out in tears. He immediately thought it was over between us or that I didn't love him anymore, he was thinking the worst. And all I could do is cry. It made me cry even more that he was thinking the worst. I couldn't talk....just cry. Then he was begging me to tell him so I asked him to atleast turn out the lights.....I had been staring at the ceiling for so long, I was sick of looking at it. I told him that he was going to think that I was a complete psycho, but I was going to explain what was going on EXACTLY how it was in my mind. Then the words just started pouring out. I am sure that they didn't make any sense what so ever, but Evan is so understanding that he just listened like he always has. I told him that I wanted to explain a scenerio to him that was in my head. Right now I feel like I am standing on a set of steps that are 3 feet wide, they are concrete and they are black. When I look up, all I see is beautiful grass and flowers on both sides. I see the steps going all of the way to the top of the hill, not a long way, but for a little ways. I can't see what is on the other side, but I know that everyone that I love and that loves me is on the other side of that hill. I have not turned around, but I know that it is a long way down and all of the bad that has happened in my life is back there including bad things, bad people, mistakes, decisions, etc. are there. Evan is with me. He is the only person that I see. He is standing on the left side of me, but in the grass, not on the steps. He is looking at me with such love as he always does, but still has that confused look on his face and is taking several glimpses back behind me. But I am not looking back at all. Only to my left side at Evan. He has my left hand in his left hand and we are holding hands really softly. I am not pulling him over to stand on the steps with me and I am not pulling him to come up the stairs with me, I am just softly holding it. He is not pulling my hand in any direction at all. I am not crying, I am just at a stand still, but very content and ready to climb the steps. The weather is perfect, I am wearing a white spring dress, there is a great summer breeze and the sky is clear and the sun is out. But it is SO dark behind me. I don't know how I know that because I didn't look back, but I just know. Evan is standing beside me looking both ways, but more behind me than ahead of me. But he is not on the steps, he is in the grass. And the steps are painted a glossy black, and they are cement. Why in the world I had this in my mind, I don't know. But it just was and something came over me and it was like I got saved and wasn't even in church, wasn't praying and didn't even know it was coming......But it was GREAT!!!!! I actually could breathe!! I haven't had a breath like that my whole life. Never!!! Evan was SO excited for me. He told me that he stands by me 100% and thinks that God came into my heart. I do too. I was crying tears of joy and also tears from being SO scared of what was happening!! (I know, Kathie(Evan's Mom who helped me through this), that is the devil trying to put his fear in what he has lost control over!!!) I started to have so many what if's? and why's? I was ready 100% to give myself to God, but I my only scare was what was going to happen between Evan and I. Evan was SO understanding. He told me that he did not want to hold me back from this. He also told me that he knows that this will happen to him someday and he is ready for it, but it just hasn't happened yet. I TOTALLY understand that. Because I know how he feels. I have always believed in God, I have always prayed and I have always loved God, but there is NO way I could just go to church, go up front, get saved and feel the way I feel now. There is no way. It wouldn't have been real. I may think I would have been ready, but I wouldn't have. Not a week ago, not even yesterday. I don't know a lot about God, or the bible. I know the 1st verse is In The Beginning God Created The Heavens And The Earth, I know that the last word is Amen. I know most of the 10 commandments and that is it. I used to go to church until I was like 15, but only because my parents made me. When I got pregnant with Codey at the age of 15, I never went to church again. I was always treated different from that church after that. It was the same building that your church is at, just different people. I never understood it, but I was hurt by those people, but it never changed my faith in God. I have done some really bad things in my past, really bad. I was premiscious, did drugs, alcohol, breaking the law, DUI's, you name it, I did it. I have tried to clean my act up but didn't start doing so until I was 25. But still was not perfect. I drove drunk so many times that I am suprised I am alive and I am so thankful that I didn't kill anyone. On Codey's birthday in 2003 I was driving home from Chillicothe drunk and passed out, woke up when I was on the other side of the road in the bank, this was on the old 35. I did things like this clear up until just this past summer. I thank God SO much for watching over me and other people when I made such a horrid choice. I feel like this is my confessional, but I just feel so much better to type all of this. I hope it doesn't paint a bad picture of me, because this is how I used to be and I have full intentions of being a better person. I am so glad that God came into my heart today. I was SO scared to go to church. I have a severe social phobia, but then on top of that, I knew I wasn't ready. So maybe that is why God made an exception and made a house call for me today. Now I am just scared. (Fear-Devil) I am afraid that this happened because something bad is going to happen to me and God is going to take me. Why I think that, I don't know, but I don't want to die. Not at all. I love this feeling and I want to live it for many many years. I used to get so depressed to where I would beg God to take me.....but after having this happen to me today, I feel like I was reborn. I just want to go stand in the street and dance around and sing and laugh and be so happy. I know that may sound weird, but that is how I felt. Evan had his hand on my heart when I finally breathed that first breath of NEW air. I am worried about us now. I have NO problem praying for this same day to come for Evan, but what about us in the meantime. I look at his lifestyle in a whole nother way now. I don't judge it at all, but I know how he feels. I know that if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. But I know that he has it in him.....he always has, and I always know that I have had it in me, but you cannot fool God and make it happen.....(I told you that Kathie, that is the coolest thing!!! You cannot fool God, he knows!!) Evan said he knows that it is coming, he doesn't want to hold me back, but he wants me to bear with him until the day comes for him....... What do I do? This is where I need help from the both of you. I have not once thought about leaving Evan....and I know he won't leave me....but how do I deal with things in the meantime? I have a few beers in Evan's fridge and when I seen them today, I felt so guilty. I just wanted to pour them out. But I shut the door in disgust. I am sorry that I haven't called either one of you over this, I just feel better talking about it through email. Please bear with me on this. I just feel like I need to get my head right with all of this and I would like to talk to you through email. Just for now. You guys have been angels sent to me. I don't think that anything that you two have sent to me on here or said to me has influenced my thinking on this. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything that you said to me on here but it was 100% God today when I was laying in that bed. I asked Evan if he thought God was sent to me or if this day came due to all of the prayers from you guys, (Kathie and Beth) and he said he doesn't have the answer for that, but probably. Well Bless Your Hearts if it did.......well bless your hearts anyways!!! You two are angels!! I feel like a new person, don't know why and I am not going to complain. This feeling is spectacular. I just would like some advice on what to do when your partner isn't ready yet??? This means so many things have to change now. No more staying over here alnight, which Evan and I are fine with, no more going out, which I am fine with....but am I going to be able to make this relationship work? I have not backed down even one step since God put me on these steps today, but I cannot leave Evan behind....what do I do? I love him with all of my heart, I will never leave him. But God is calling me......I shouldn't have to choose. I want to get things right with God and I on my own, just at first, give me a week or so, then I will attend church. I just need to get my mind and my heart right. I knew something was coming that is why I haven't called anyone. I am sorry Kathie. After all that you have done for me, I should have called or came and seen you before now....The bad was coming out......I had a lot of guilt and bad pouring out of me....I still do. I just want to talk online about this for awhile then I will talk to you both in person or on the phone. After this happened, I got in the shower and prayed and prayed and prayed. I thanked God for the both of you coming into my life. I thanked God for coming into my heart today and I asked for 2 things when I was praying. I prayed to become a better mother and I prayed that God will come into Evan's heart. He is so ready, it just hasn't happened yet. He claims that he knows what is happening to me, because he has seen it happen to so many people that he knows, well I thought the same thing when I wasn't ready yet, but knew someday that it would happen. But I had NO idea of the feeling. NO IDEA. It is undescribable and absolutely wonderful. It was like the feeling that I had when my children were born times 100!! Please just email me back with any advice that you have. Don't think I am crazy, it was my heart talking and my hands typing. Just how I feel. I love Evan and want to keep my life going in this positive direction..... I love you guys! Tarey Genesis 2,9 : And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground- trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Continued:I was in bed crying my eyes out at 9 this morning because I was so scared to go back to church....It had been 15 years!!! .....I wanted to call Evan's mom and make up any reason why I couldn't.....but didn't have it in my heart to lie.....especially to her mom......couldn't do it. Who was I to lie to someone who put their life on hold for me when I needed someone the most? Probably the most vulnerable time of my life. I didn't want to let her down ...So I called her and when I found out she was running late.....I was relieved because I knew that I didn't have to attend the full amount of time.... Not that my heart wasn't into it, but I just really wanted off of the hook just a tad......but it was the fear.......The devil was doing anything and everything to try to keep me from going.........He was running out of options and it was ticking him off!! LOL Hahaha in his face.......He was losing someone he had a hold of for 30 years..........Well I went and Codeman went with me. Bless his heart!!!! When we pulled into the parking lot, I seen a friend of Codey's Mom in the parking lot. She was just sitting in here vehicle and I thought she was waiting to pick someone up, but when we got out, she got out. She started walking with us and told us that she was so glad that we were going in because if we hadn't arrived, she didn't know if she was going to come in or not........She was sitting in her truck debating........Praise the Lord!!! That is sooooooooooooooo cool that we just happened to park by her and she got out!! I am soooooo happy for her. She ended up staying in the back when we got there, I told her to come up front and sit with us when she was ready. The next thing I knew, she was coming up front with a guy from the church and she prayed with the preacher and some other people from the church. She was balling and it made me cry so hard. The holy spirit was in her and she was on the floor. I am SO glad that she came forward. What a wonderful day..........Praise the Lord!!! He is so powerful!!! He has made so many things come together and click for me.......I can't thank him enough........And my angel Kathie......who is like my 2nd mom now.....what an angel!! I love her! Well WaaaWaaaaWaaaa for the devil!!! While he was having a pity party, I was having the best party of my life!! Best one I ever attended!! :) And I won't even be hungover tomorrow!!! And can't wait to do it again......Instead of partying and telling God when I was sicker than a dog that I wasn't ever going to drink again, I was telling him that I wasn't ever going to look back again........ LOVE IT WOW, what a service!! About a week or so ago, I had a dream and didn't even connect it until I heard the preacher talking about Warriors fighting.....But, I had a dream that I was with Evan and all of HIS friends, and one of his friend decided to take over Jackson. So we were in this really big old house that was 2 stories. It had steps and a balcony to where if you were standing up at the top, you could see down to the front door. We dressed up in black, head to toe, full "Armor" (As the preacher said this morning) and called the cops. All of the cops showed up and when the arrived, one of Evan's friends jumped the balcony and held up his shield, and then Evan took off to another room. He was dressed in his armor, ready to fight, but at the last minute, said he couldn't do it because he had a warrant........Turning back in fear. Well, his mom and I bother agree that yes he does have a warrant, but a warrant with God. WOW, talk about hitting the nail right on the head!! How I dreamed this before getting saved, then the preacher was preaching about that this morning. I was all geared up, in my armor and ready to fight and so was Evan, but then when the enemy (Who we thought were the cops ((the people who actually are supposed to protect us)) got to the door, Evan ran. Even though he was geared up too and in his armor, he ducked out..........Hmmmmmm.........Too cool!!! He's ready.....I know he's ready.......His time is coming soon...... Although he didn't come to church, he did come to eat with us afterwards. I would have probably been so quiet and felt left down if he hadn't have came to eat ..... his mom had called him 5 minutes before I did and he told her no....... :( But I called him back and asked him to please do it for me.......Oh I just love him........Don't get me wrong, his actions frustrate me.....but I love his heart!!!! His whole family made me feel so at ease today.......It was a GIGANTIC step for me......I am usually so quiet and backward, but walking in and seeing everyone so happy and then seeing people I knew upfront just made me feel so at ease and then I cried forever, but definitely tears of joy...........LOVED IT!! Wow, if that is how it is going to be, that is fine, but I will really have to stock up on the water-proof mascara!!! :--------) Can't wait to go back .........Just can't wait. What a wonderful church with an outstanding atmosphere!! So many different people, all understanding and not judgemental. I just felt in place........I have felt so out of place forever.....I was in the right place with God.......The devil has lost the battle with me....Life is great!!! My aunt Vicki came and talked to me after the service and we just cried.... :) She knows I had it in me all of these years, but I just had that stubborness in me and all of the other emotions that let the devil keep me from letting God in my heart.......Although I had a talk with her that was several years ago, probably 6 to 8 years ago, and I told her I knew I needed to be in church and I wanted to start going.......she cried at my grandma's kitchen table with me when I was so scared to let God in my heart. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, but the devil won the battle in my head. I know how Evan is feeling, and I pray that it doesn't take him as long to let God in his heart. Wow, what a wonderful day!! After church, we went to Toro Loco and Evan's mom told them it was his birthday.......LOL I had NO idea what they did for birthdays............OH MY!!! Well, he went to smoke, then when he came back about 10 minutes later, they came. They took off his hat, put on this black sembrero which is about 3 foot wide and put down ice cream in front of him. They took the spoon and acted like they were going to feed it to him, yet instead wiped it all over his face.......lol.............THIS PLACE WAS PACKED!!! He was SUCH a trooper.........We laughed and laughed and laughed. They sang Happy Birthday to him in Spanish and then took his picture.........LOL Then, they wanted the sembrero back, but NOOOOOOOOOO not Evan. He wouldn't let them have it..........Evan wanted all of the attention that he could get. He told them no and continued to wear it the rest of the time we were there........(Probably 20 or more minutes) What a funny funny lunch!!! Codeman was laughing at him. My sides hurt from laughing so hard!!! I was rolling!!! It was priceless!!!! What wonderful memories I will have from this day from here on out!!! I will NEVER forget this day!! Now I am at Evan's apartment spending time with him, and what a wonderful end to a precious day!!! Thank You God for this day and all of the wonderful people that you have brought into my life!!!! I love you Lord!!! And I want to pray that a day like this comes for Evan soon!!! Please watch over everyone that I love and keep them safe!!! God bless them all!!! Tarey

I Am Saved!!! 02/09/07

February 9, 2007 - Friday
My New Beginning..... Category: Religion and Philosophy
Ok, this is a LONG story, but it is the most important story that I will ever have to tell, so bear with me. It's a long one.......
!!! I GOT SAVED!!! I don't know how in the world it happened, but it just did when I was laying in bed yesterday......I never sleep in, but I just could not get out of bed yesterday. I was at Evan's house and I was laying in bed, I felt REALLY weird and just started balling. He thought I was going to tell him that I didn't want to be with him anymore, but I just couldn't talk.....I am going to copy and paste the email that I sent to his mom and sister to you explaining what happened and what I saw. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO extatic (spelling lol).....I have never in my life felt this way and I am just bubbling over with joy. Evan's mom owns Heaven Bound (the Christian bookstore). I just spent 4 and 1/2 hours in there talking to her tonight. I don't know what happened to me a couple weeks ago, but I got REALLY sick.....It was on Sunday January 21st, we got that 1st snow. Evan wanted to go 4 wheeler riding, so I went out to his parents house with him to get the 4 wheeler and met his mom for the 1st time. As we were leaving (Evan was in a HUGE hurry)....She told me, maybe you could go to church with us sometime, and I said, yea, that would be good. I will go. Well, I wanted to and had true intentions on it, but honestly thought I would be doing it more for her than for myself. Just like when I had to go to church with Dad as a kid, I did it because I had to. Don't get me wrong, when she asked, I knew it was time that I got my butt in there, but when you aren't ready yet, you aren't ready. So we went on this ride and it was BEAUTIFUL! Riding in the woods, snow on the trees, on the ground.....Beautiful!! Well, About 1/2 way through the ride, I felt a bump on the back of my neck, and it was like a dry spot that itched a little. I had went to Dads earlier and got clothes to wear and grabbed one of Codey's long underwear shirts and it had been washed in purex (I am allergic to) along with a pair of Dad's sweats. Well once we were done riding, I got back in the truck and on the way to Evans moms, I had them spreading on the front of my neck, red hives. (I have NEVER gotten hives or broke out really). I knew I was allergic to purex only because I used it once, put on pants, my legs turned red and itched, I took them off and it went away. I never used it again. Well this time, I was breaking out in hives which were turning into welts and I was FREAKING out!! You know me, always independant and able to take care of myself!!! Well not this time, I couldn't quit scratching. I took 6 Benedryl tablets, which I had never taken before, they made me a little sleepy, but I was SO chilled and felt like I was getting the flu. Half way through the night, I got up and couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to wake Evan, so I just drove myself to Holzer ER, which is right down the street. I was crying and in so much pain and agony of itching.....I had to wait TWO HOURS!! Then I get back there, they give me a Benedryl shot and a steroid shot and send me home. It knocked me out, but I woke up with even more welts and itching.....I couldn't take it. Now, from here on is just what I barely remember, I was on SO much medication, I couldn't tell you step by step for 2 weeks!!!! But, I think they wrote me a prescription for something, but it just wasn't working. So, then I went to the doctor, Evan went with me. She gave me a prescription for steroids, a nerve pill, antibiotics, and I cannot even remember what else. So I go back to Evans, get so drugged up and go back to bed, itching in my sleep making things worse. I go back to the ER that night, and they tell me there isn't anything they can do if I don't stop scratching, but gave me another Benedryl shot and steroid shot and after waiting TWO MORE HOURS!!!! So then I go back to Evans.....crying, scratching, I take a lot of meds and go back to sleep.....Then I get up, can't stand it anymore, try to go back to the ER and I ask them how long the wait is going to be and they tell me over two hours, I call Gallipolis, they tell me the same thing. I had Evan with me and so we went to ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />....Chillicothe.... at Adena. I got right in. They couldn't diagnose the problem. Holzer said it was the clothes and the purex, and Adena said they weren't sure of that because the hives and welts were only spreading where I scratched…….so it was everywhere but on my back. They said with an allergic reaction, that it should have been on my back as well. They gave me a Benedryl shot and 3 steroid pills and a Pepcid (because it is an anti-histamine blocker). I went home, got a little better because I was taking the medication that the Doctor at Holzer gave me, which was anti-itch and I was also taking nerve medication. Evan took me off of the steroids himself, he KNEW that was making me worse. He was in control of my medication because one night he woke up and I had went to the bathroom and fell. I couldn't even walk. It was like my legs were jello and on his bedroom floor was open pill bottles with pills poured out of them. I don't remember much from this, but I do remember looking at the floor and it looked like someone had tried to O.D. That is NOT what I was doing at all, I was just in so much pain and my nerves were shot, I just wanted to feel better and itching is one of the worst pains that you could possibly have!!! He took over my medication then. God Bless His Heart!! He was so scared for me, but didn't have any answers, even when I would beg him to help me, he did all he could, he was so scared for me and he was so aggrevated at the doctor's for not knowing what was wrong. He put 2 and 2 together and realized that the steroids were making me worse. Although every doctor that we have mentioned that to says that is highly unlikely for me to have a reaction to the steroids, I am a firm believer that Evan was right!!! He knew!! He always knows what is best for me!!! LOVE HIM!! So, the steroids KILLED my immune system. I couldn't fight off anything and I was getting a cold on top of it. I was so out of it, I didn't know if I was coming or going. Shelly was taking care of Codey and ....Tracy.... was taking care of ....Austin.... and I was helpless. I couldn't stand it, but I put all of my trust into Evan and all of my faith into him and boy did it pay off!! He was my angel!!! (Well, he has always been my angel!) So I don't know what happened, but one night or day, I don't even remember, all I know is I called my mom crying and told her we were on our way (Evan and I ) and I asked her if she could take me to Columbus. I wanted to go to any hospital, I didn't care where, I just knew I would get better help up there. I don't even know if I told her this or if Evan talked to her, I have no clue. (Keep in mind, I had a Walmart bag FULL of prescriptions that I was on!!!) I was out of it. Next thing I know, here pulls up my angel Kathie outside. (Evans Mom) Evan is helping me out to the Avalanche, she had the warmest blanket ready for me and off to ....Columbus.... we went. Next thing I know, we are at ....Ohio.. ..State.. ..University.. ..Hospital.... and I told Evan, Evan you are going to have to get me a wheelchair, I cannot walk…..(That is so unlike me! I walked out of the hospital after having my hysterectomy and walked to the car, I am really stubborn like that!!) I drove myself to ....Grant.. ..Hospital.... one time when I was losing a lot of blood before I had to have my hysterectomy. Your normal blood level is supposed to be a 12, mine was a 4! I was at blood transfusion level. I drove there, and drove home on my own in a snowstorm!! I have ALWAYS been able to take care of myself. Not this night/day……whenever it was!! I couldn't. I was totally helpless. Evan was my rock and boy did he jump right in there and take control. He was telling them what I was on, what all I had taken, who prescribed it, when, why, everything!!!! I only remember bits and pieces. Then I find out after talking with his mom tonight that they asked if I had a religion preference, and I said "No." WHAT?????? Why would I say that. I mean, I know that I was not saved yet, but I always considered myself to be somewhat Christian.<> >Maybe very far from it at times, but I would have never answered No to that question being in my right mind!! There is no way!!! So anyways, I don't remember much from this visit other than Kathie not leaving my side, Kathie praying for me, and Evan being like a new dad, running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He did everything for me. He was at my beck and call when I needed him the most. Right where I will be when he is called. So anyways, the doctor's were stumped. They had NO idea what was wrong with me, what caused it, or a cure, I was prescribed more medication and sent back home after hours and hours of being at the hospital. Everything after that was a little blurry for me. I felt like I was getting a little better, I mean, I was atleast able to get up and comb out the dreads that my hair had turned into, but I just still was not fully me. My arms were aching so bad I was crying and my hands couldn't open all of the way or close all of the way without severe pain. And the itching was coming back. I ran out of nerve pills and OSU gave me pain pills, and when they ran out, I went through a withdraw. All of the itching was back, no hives or welts, but just constant digging at my skin. The itching meds that they had me on, all they did was turn me into a zombie and I sat and scratched and didn't know it. So I called Evan all freaking out told him I was driving myself back to OSU, he said no that his mom would and I felt so guilty for putting her through that again, but something was telling me to let her help me again. So I did. We went back about noon that day, waited for hours to get a room, got back there, they gave me an effenedrin (spelling?) shot, ran 9 blood tests and made me wait 3 hours after that to get results of the effenedrin. Well it made me itch 10 times worse and ache even more. They sent me home due to me having an appt. with the dermatologist the next day. All 9 blood tests came back negative, they were for hepatitis, arthritis, lupas, etc. you name it, they tested for it. My white blood cell count was really high and again, they are stumped. They referred me to another doctor, to which I am suppose to see next month. I don't know what the sickness was, but it is gone, only a little pain in my arm, but NOTHING like it was. But if that is what I needed to go through to have Kathie sent to me and for God to come into my heart, then I would go through it all over again!!! What I experienced yesterday was definitely worth every minute of it!! I can't explain it, and maybe it is unexplainable by everyone, but it was something I have never gone through and something that has changed my whole life.......I left everything in that bed. When I got up, I felt like the bed was full of black liquid.....like all of the evil had left my body. I went and showered and came back and the room was completely clear and free. When I left the room when I first got up, it was dark and depressing.....I just had to get out of there........I know I am rambling, but I just wanted to share this with everyone.......Life for me is great and I thank each and everyone of you that has came into my life and helped me along the way!!! I have hit some low points and a lot of you have been there through thick and thin!!! Evan took care of me, and has been patient with me for YEARS!! It is my turn to do the same for him.......it is going to be hard, but I see it happening soon and I know that it will be the most wonderful thing to witness and I cannot wait!!!!I will write more later..........Tarey

My Vision That I Found In The Bible 0423/08

My Vision That I Found In The Bible!!!! =) Current mood: jubilant Category: Religion and Philosophy
I found something in the Bible tonight that is just wonderful.....For those of you who know me know that I was saved 02/07/07. I have blogged about it, but if you haven't read it, or don't have the time to.....I had a vision when I was in bed sick and it scared me, but later I found out I was being saved. It is a really long story that I hope you can sometime read.....but I seen a tree in a vision that had a huge trunk and solid roots, almost roots of steel! It was on the left on top of a hill with nothing else around but a nice beautiful meadow with pretty flowers, grass and almost like some wheat too....Nothing else in the vision except for the black concrete steps I was standing on....Sooooooooo............this is what I found in the Bible. I had NO idea it exsisted in the Bible until tonight!!!!

Daniel 4
Nebuchadnezzar's Dream of a Tree
1 King Nebuchadnezzar, To the peoples, nations and men of every language, who live in all the world: May you prosper greatly!
2 It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me.
3 How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation.
4 I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at home in my palace, contented and prosperous. 5 I had a dream that made me afraid. As I was lying in my bed, the images and visions that passed through my mind terrified me. 6 So I commanded that all the wise men of Babylon be brought before me to interpret the dream for me. 7 When the magicians, enchanters, astrologers [a] and diviners came, I told them the dream, but they could not interpret it for me. 8 Finally, Daniel came into my presence and I told him the dream. (He is called Belteshazzar, after the name of my god, and the spirit of the holy gods is in him.)
9 I said, "Belteshazzar, chief of the magicians, I know that the spirit of the holy gods is in you, and no mystery is too difficult for you. Here is my dream; interpret it for me. 10 These are the visions I saw while lying in my bed: I looked, and there before me stood a tree in the middle of the land. Its height was enormous. 11 The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. 12 Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the beasts of the field found shelter, and the birds of the air lived in its branches; from it every creature was fed.
13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, [b] a holy one, coming down from heaven. 14 He called in a loud voice: 'Cut down the tree and trim off its branches; strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit. Let the animals flee from under it and the birds from its branches. 15 But let the stump and its roots, bound with iron and bronze, remain in the ground, in the grass of the field. " 'Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven, and let him live with the animals among the plants of the earth. 16 Let his mind be changed from that of a man and let him be given the mind of an animal, till seven times [c] pass by for him.
17 " 'The decision is announced by messengers, the holy ones declare the verdict, so that the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men.'
18 "This is the dream that I, King Nebuchadnezzar, had. Now, Belteshazzar, tell me what it means, for none of the wise men in my kingdom can interpret it for me. But you can, because the spirit of the holy gods is in you."
Daniel Interprets the Dream
19 Then Daniel (also called Belteshazzar) was greatly perplexed for a time, and his thoughts terrified him. So the king said, "Belteshazzar, do not let the dream or its meaning alarm you." Belteshazzar answered, "My lord, if only the dream applied to your enemies and its meaning to your adversaries! 20 The tree you saw, which grew large and strong, with its top touching the sky, visible to the whole earth, 21 with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the beasts of the field, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds of the air- 22 you, O king, are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth.
23 "You, O king, saw a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven and saying, 'Cut down the tree and destroy it, but leave the stump, bound with iron and bronze, in the grass of the field, while its roots remain in the ground. Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven; let him live like the wild animals, until seven times pass by for him.'
24 "This is the interpretation, O king, and this is the decree the Most High has issued against my lord the king: 25 You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle and be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes. 26 The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that Heaven rules. 27 Therefore, O king, be pleased to accept my advice: Renounce your sins by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed. It may be that then your prosperity will continue."
The Dream Is Fulfilled
28 All this happened to King Nebuchadnezzar. 29 Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, 30 he said, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?"
31 The words were still on his lips when a voice came from heaven, "This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. 32 You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes."
33 Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like cattle. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird.
34 At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
35 All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have you done?"
36 At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before. 37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

Something on my mind April 2008

Just Something On My Mind.... Current mood: talkative Category: Religion and Philosophy
So there is something that has been on my mind all week and I have wanted to blog about it, but not sure how to put it into words. It is just something for all of you to think about. I aplogize in advance if I skip around, I am just going to put it out there in no particular order. I am praying that God gives me the words to say.....I was watching Joyce Meyer the other morning and something came to me. I don't think that she was even on this subject, it is just something that came to me while she was on.Do you realize that how you live your life determines your outcome? I think that people understand that, but realizing it is another story. I think that each thing you do, say, how you live your life, treat people, everything goes into what I picture as a "retirement fund". You can spend your life adding towards your retirement fund daily by, treating people fair, spreading God's word, being a positive example, helping people, loving your family, not being greedy, etc. Each one of those things may seem small, but all adds up. Just think if I were to put just a penny a day, since I was born, into a piggy bank, I would have almost 12,000 pennies in it. I know that most people can afford a penny a day. But this isn't about REAL money...this is about good deads and being positive for God. I only WISH I had 12,000 good deeds built up to show God!!!I believe that each thing that you do positive adds to your "retirement" in your next life. If you live your life by God's word, then you will build up that retirement. All you have to do is contribute on your part. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing, how much they are adding, just focus on your account with God. No one else can make withdraws from your account, add to, or see your balance....not even the devil. Only you and God are the two people who's name's are on the account. When you do things against God's will or if you don't contribute, then the account slowly deminishes. Now, God will not close the account on you, but at the same time, you can't think that it will collect interest and grow on it's own. I cannot stress this enough, YOU CANNOT FOOL GOD!! He knows your true intentions. He knows when you live by His word, or when you stray away and put others before Him. Now keep in mind, this isn't about real money, although you need to sow into God's word financially....that is another subject.You MUST invest into God today.....!!! Build up what He has promised all of us in Heaven. You must be saved and believe that He is your Lord and Saviour!! He loved the world so much that he "invested" his only son!! Can you even imagine that? John 3:16
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
The devil will try to convince you that he can steal your investments, but he can't. He will also try to get you to stop investing in God's word and start investing in his. Now keep in mind, I am NOT talking about real money. I am just talking in theory.
So take small steps at first if that is what it takes. Just start off by treating people differently. Help someone out daily.....open a door for someone, let someone out in traffic, say a kind word, hug your kids, etc.Anything "small" starts a "change"...and that is what I mentioned before...."Small" "Change" adds "up"!!! (Up To God!)Don't focus on the "income", rather, focus on the "outcome"......-I came up with this yesterday!!God Bless You All!Thank you SO much for taking the time to read my blog!!!Love you all!TaReY

Widow's Offering 05/13/08

Just Something To Think About.... Current mood:Giving Category: Religion and Philosophy
The Widow's Offering 41Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.
43Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

The Death Penalty 01/07/2009

The Death Penalty Current mood: curious Category: Life
This is a conversation regarding the death penalty that Kevin and I had..... He wrote:I am an advocate of the death penalty. For the record, I must state that I do not feel that the death penalty is a deterrent to infamous crimes of murder. Here are some statistics for the United States in 2007. Thirty-eight states had capital statutes. Forty-two persons were executed. Forty-one lethal injections and one electrocution. Texas took a commanding lead with twenty-six of the executions. Three each for Alabama and Oklahoma. Two each for Ohio, Indiana and Tennessee. One each for the states of South Carolina, South Dakota, Georgia and Arizona. As I mentioned, I do not believe the death penalty is a deterrent, nor have I found any statistics that remotely suggest that it may be.I find it to be just for the victims that can no longer speak for themselves. I find it just for the correctional staff that supervise and care for them for the duration here in life. Just, for the sake of those people that may be subject to the possibility of being yet another victim to the criminal.These murders took the lives of some innocent people in many of these capital cases. They had no right to take the lives of unsuspecting and un-deserving people. I thank God each night that my family has not been directly afflicted by the pain that these criminals have caused. As responsible citizens, it is our responsibility to make sure that these killers are not only put away; But put to death never giving them the slightest chance to take away another loved one. Albert "The Boston Strangler" Desalvo, John Wayne Gacy, Robert Pickton, David Burkowitz. The list continues Andrew Cunanan,Ed Gein, Henry Lee Lucas, Richard Ramirez, Richard Speck And Dennis Rader, do these monsters really deserve to live. They already have much more than they they deserve. How many of us can name the victims, how many movies have we made about the lives of those innocent victims? How may of us have rushed to the box office to see how those innocent victims lived?Those are just some of the high profile serial killers that haunt us everyday. There are many more that have taken lives. Taken the lives of innocent people that were just trying to make a living as clerks at the local convenient store. Young children taken away from their homes and murdered. The criminals that went in to the bank and shot people, mortally wounding them just to put the money of others in their pockets. I Feel the only safe place for them to be is in the electric chair or on the death bed awaiting the lethal injection. That is the only real way to keep us safe and at peace. Having been an employee of the corrections department, prison life is much too good for these criminals. The death penalty is just!I wrote:Well this is a highly controversial subject. I really don't know where to begin....I have been on the fence with this for years. I am just going to throw some thoughts out there....some thoughts are for it, some against it, and some on the fence....I really don't have a set in stone opinion on it...Should we kill to show that killing is wrong? I know, an eye for an eye....I have heard that many times before, but I would have to read more into the Bible on that subject before I can really comment on it as far as the religious side of it....A part of me, well the majority of me feels as if it is God's decision when people's lives should come to an end. So with that being said, I feel like the murderer has no right to end the life of another (the victim) which also means we have no right to end the life of a murderer....It is VERY hard for me to say that, but my thoughts are based around my beliefs and it is the truth. With that being said, I have never had someone close to me taken from this world due to murder. (Thank God) So if I were to experience that, I don't know how I would feel. As a Christian, I am required to forgive and the Lord would want me to forgive. I am very thankful and grateful that I haven't been put into that situation.It is ironic that you posted this blog....I was just watching The Green Mile the other day and I thought to myself while watching the execution scene, "I wonder if the officer that actually pulls the lever to start the electric chair will have to answer to that one day...." I have always wondered this. At one point in time (before I was saved) I wanted to be on the "Execution Team" .....I have different views on it now. I have always believed in God and what was right and what is wrong, but now I read into things much more than I used to. So when you mentioned John Wayne Gacy, Jeffery Dahmer, etc. Yes, I will say when I hear those names, I cringe and there is a part of me that thinks they deserved what they got. One guy comes into mind that was executed in Ohio in 2006 when I worked at Lucasville. Not sure of his first name, but his last name was Furgeson. He volunteered execution and made a comment in an interview that he wanted to molest Jesus in an afterlife. There were even nuns protesting his execution. We have had some horrible criminals do horrid things in this world!! What about these people that go in churches and shoot and kill people, or in schools, or killing kids, i.e. the Caylee Anthony story....they all upset me very much.....BUT, I do not believe of levels of sin. I believe murder is murder! Period. Now, with that being said, does this mean that we should put to death people who work in abortion clinics? the doctors? What about young kids (7-8 years old) who kill a parent, or a younger brother or sister....maybe shoot them, maybe by wrestling too hard with them..... What about DUI's? People who drive drunk and kill other people?? What about drug dealers who sell to people who overdose....Or medical malpractice which results in death.....It is ALL murder. Whether the weapon was a gun, knife, scalpal, wrong medication, a car, use of force, carelessness, etc. It is ALL murder. So who are we to judge and pick and chose who pays for it and who doesn't??? The judicial system has gotten to the point to where it is so messed up and way too leniant!! (sp)? The system was originally built around religion/the 10 commandments....and over time, unfortunately it has deminished to a joke to where people actually start believing that there are levels of sin. The Bible is black and white. Not gray. It was not written to be watered down, covered up, but this Nation definitely is well on it's way of doing that along with ruining everything else.I am very disappointed in this country and it's only going to get worse!!

Dreams 02/06/2009

Dreams...(Constantly Updated) Current mood:Happy Category: Dreams and the Supernatural




I am starting this blog to keep track of the dreams that I have. Sometimes I have some really odd dreams. I get a lot of meaning out of them. I thought I would just share...Some of them do not make much sense, or are in bits and pieces, but sometimes I don't remember the whole dream. Also, my dreams seem to "switch channels"...lolI will add the ones I can remember right now, then I will add more after they happen.... =)



02/05/08- I tossed and turned and did not fall asleep until going on 5 am. Once I fell asleep, I dreamed that the License Bureau burnt down and then the world was coming to an end and fireworks were going off all over the sky. Hmmm???



About 6 months ago, I dreamed that I was on the rooftop of some skyscrapers in New York City. Something was chasing me, but I am not sure what it was. I didn't see it...but there was a voice that told me to have faith in God and jump from one building to the other. I KNEW I would never clear the jump and I told the voice that....the voice then told me if I had 100% complete faith in God, I would jump and he would protect me. I started at one side of the building and ran clear accross to the other side, ready to jump...and stopped right at the edge.



*This dream really got to me because it made me realize that I have not put 100% faith into God. Maybe 95% or even 99% but not 100% like we are supposed to do.A couple months ago I dreamed that Codey was driving infront of me on a two lane highway and I seen him wreck his car and it started rolling. I woke up (Thank God) before I seen the outcome. Very scary dream. I was sick to my stomach the whole next day!



02/06/2009- I dreamed about a trailer on fire on Mayhew Road and a older white escort in front of it that was scorched to. I don't know why I am dreaming so much about fire....???



02/11/2009- I had a dream I was pregnant with a little girl... =)



02/13/09- I dreamed that I was at some sort of choir thing for school (but we were all adults) and AJ was the only person I really remember who was with me. Well there was a party going on outside and there was some sort of parade. I wanted to go outside and take pictures, but it was like no matter what I did, I couldn't get out there. AJ got mad at me for leaving....then I lost my camera....then my purse was missing. I did eventually make it outside just for a minute and I seen a bus full of drunk/high people that I remember from back in the day and they looked horrible. They were all sick and run-down looking. I remember two people in particular CH and LG. (Not naming names). So then when the choir thing inside was dismissing, so was this party thing outside. I told AJ I wanted to go out there and she got real mad at me. Then all of a sudden, something happened and it was like the world was seperated. You had to chose to give up your child or your spouse in order to show your love for God. I fought it tooth and nail for the longest time. You stayed upstairs if you didn't do what God wanted, and if you did decide to comply, you went downstairs. I finally decided to comply, but I was histerical and just bawling as I walked downstairs. When I got down there, there were so many sad people. But I felt like I had to comply because God gave His Son, so I had to give mine. I don't remember seeing either of my boys in this dream, but I just remember doing what I did. I am so glad that I finally had a dream where I complied with God's request and put faith in Him rather than second guessing or fighting Him on it.....That is about all I remember, I will add more if I remember more.....



03/29/09- I had a dream last night that a girl I went to school with had a horrible dark past of abuse and no one would have guessed it....somehow I was able to read her personal file at a psychiatrist's office...it was really creepy...I am having so many weird dreams right now.



Today is my spiritual birthday (02/07/09) I was saved 02/07/07 when God came to me in a vision. I don't know if he is trying to send me things right now through dreams or not....but I am not to excited that they all are about fire...If I know my God, (and I do) he is trying to tell me that I need to be more on fire for him than I am right now....


*Those are the only ones I can remember right away...I will add more later. Dreams are awesome and I ALWAYS dream and usually remember it the next morning. I will keep adding to this blog. Have a blessed day!! =)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Really? Who are the lawmakers to make this decision???



Ok, well I am sitting here watching the news and I just learned that the morning after pill is available to 17 year olds. I do NOT agree with this pill at all, but I really do not agree with it for 17 year olds. Who in the world do these lawmakers think that they are?? Who are they to give permission to our children to take this pill?? I am so disgusted by this. This really saddens me. I just really hope that this can be changed. Ya know, people agree with things like this for different reasons. If they are pro-choice, or if it is a rape situation, etc. The way that I look at it, God has the control if a baby is conceived. If a baby is conceived, and the pregnancy is terminated......that is MURDER no matter how you look at it. The girl taking the pill will someday have to answer to that, the doctor that prescribes it, the nurse that hands it over, the drug company that makes the pill, and the lawmakers that pass the bill!!! They will all have to answer to that. They are in conspiracy in my book. No matter how it is sugar coated or covered up!!!

MySpace Safety

Ok, this has bothered me long enough. I have let it go for far too long. It is time I do something about it. Have any of you noticed the "People You May Know" thing that pops up on the right or left side of your screen. Neat feature, huh??? Yea, well to some people it may be.
I do NOT agree with it. It is showing underage people's profiles that any predator can see. Some of these kids are trying to be responsible and do the right thing by putting their location as California or something, but MySpace pretty much exposes them by putting them there for the predator to know that they are close. And it's not only kids...what if someone is hiding from someone with a restraining order or something and this feature esposes them....I don't know. This just ticks me off. Yea, it's a nice feature to have in a perfect world, but this is NOT a perfect world. It gets more scary by the day.
I am on a mission to have this changed and all I ask is for your support. I will be blogging this same message as well. Please support me in this. I am really passionate about helping young children. MySpace can be a good thing, but as we all know from past stories, it has been a bad thing as well. I don't want to hear another bad story.
Here is the message I sent to customer service. Please feel free to contact them yourself as well.
"Hello. I am writing with concern on the newer feature of "People You May Know". I do not believe that this feature should inlclude users under 18 years of age. Actually I don't agree with the feature at all, but especially for users under 18. I see kids on there that I know are from my area, but they change their location to try and be safe from predators...but then myspace in a way exposes their true location. Any predator could figure that out. If you refuse to remove this feature altogether, ATLEAST remove it from underage users. I know this wouldn't include kids that have their age set at 99 or something, but it would remove some of them. These kids are being responsible by trying to hide their information...I think it is time that MySpace is responsible by trying to protect the children as well. PLEASE RESPOND!!! "
Thank you for all of your support!!!

God Bless!
Tarey